If you spend some time researching, as I did recently, the top 10 fears of human beings, you’ll see that the fear of public speaking, which is similar to the musician’s fear of performing on an instrument on stage, is high on the list. A recent Wall Street Journal report, for example, listed fear of public speaking as #1 — higher than the fear of death, or snakes, or terrorists. No matter where you look in the world, or what year or decade you search, you will learn that this is one of the most common fears among, well, everyone.
Feelings of nervousness or acute anxiety surrounding the performance of music can be uncomfortable, frustrating, mysterious, maddening, and/or depressing. They can bother us just a little or bring us to our knees in anguish. But in most cases, these feelings are normal reactions, as you realize when you see how widespread they are. While there are some natural performers who easily attain poise and self-assurance on stage, most of us grapple with fear of one kind or another at some time, whether you are a student, amateur, or professional.
This means that if you experience performance anxiety, you are not sick, weird, or weak. You are just like everyone else.
You may think you see confident people all around you, but you may not be able to perceive someone else’s anxiety. Never compare your insides to anyone else’s outsides. No matter how cool and collected they may appear, you never know what is going on inside them, or what battles they have fought to be where they are now.
The immense task of accepting ourselves in all our fragile complexity is one of the great hallmarks of a life lived with depth and truth. Experiencing performance anxiety is a part of who you are — your background, your intense desire to succeed, your great love of your art, and many other needs and experiences as well as your goals and intentions. Performance art anxiety arises in a person’s life for a reason, but that reason is not because something is wrong with you.
Once you can feel, deep in your heart, that you are whole, even including your fears, you can begin the joyous journey toward decreasing, and perhaps eliminating, your performance anxiety. Maybe then, performing on stage won’t make your top 10 fears list at all.
Other Flute Focus columns in my series “Performance Anxiety from Inside Out” are also available.